just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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