I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
