Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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