Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
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I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
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Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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