Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
