Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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