So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
