it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
did i walk over a car last night?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
