I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
