I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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