Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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