So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
