They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
