we have officially lost it.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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