she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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