Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
