I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
