how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
