You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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