Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize