i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I am mentally ready for anal.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
