I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
