How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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