I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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