who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
