big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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