guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
