You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
