We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
