would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
