at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
