I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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