I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
