she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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