see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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