I just made out with a guy for $7.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
