So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
high people should be assigned attendants
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
