Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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