youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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