is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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