you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
