8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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