Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
