I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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