This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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