I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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