Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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