so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
