well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
