just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
