Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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