You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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