I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
