did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
