as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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