No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
