i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize