Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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