And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
