Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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